How I know the end is near: The elusive McRib

Which come back is more important to humans? Brett Favre waddles his way back for 1 more season? A legendary retirement tour of  Led Zepplin? Or Jesus Christ returning himself!???

Neither, it’s the return of the elusive McRib, baby!

Why? Because some times two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions on a sesame bun just doesn’t satiate Americana’s lust for McDonald’s awesomeness. There is the McRib though. You may have only heard of it, as if it was bigfoot himself. It is the white whale, if you will, of fast food sandwiches. It comes and goes like the lover that never called you back. What makes the McRib legendary? It’s meat molded into the shape of short ribs! Wait…..what?

This is how I know the end is near. People love sandwiches that have meat smushed in to the shape of a tiny rib cage. Why the hell would you want to eat something that is made to look like it has bones in it, but doesn’t? Why don’t we make chicken sandwiches look like they are a whole chicken or drumstick?

Wait, it gets worst. A community of McRib lovers have designed a way to track the sandwiches as it pokes it head out from the grave at random McDonald locations. The McRib locater will have you both proud to be American and dissapointed you’re not a cooler species like a dolphin.

Yahoo.com has also documented the pathetic/amazing love for the cultwich.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/110994/bona-fide-fans-chase-rib-free-rib-sandwich

“Alan Klein’s obsession with the McRib began when he was growing up on a hog farm in South Dakota. The 28-year-old meteorologist, who now lives in Minnesota, justified his craving by saying that eating McRibs supported the family business.”

“Tom Russomano of Morristown, N.J., has tried unsuccessfully for five years to track down the sandwich, and says he has encountered several “false positives” on the McRib Locator.”

 

I’m never going out of business. Time to join the Rib-olution!

-Josh Gould